I haven't written in 52 weeks. I have, but I haven't.
There was a time when writing was the outlet for my anger, happiness, despair and pretty much every emotion I felt. Of late, it feels like a burden that I have not worn too well. One that I buckle under. Constantly.
At work, my job requires me to write. It always has. But the limited scope for creative thinking (while writing, not solutioning), editing (others writing/FML) and my compulsive need to add commas, have sucked the joy out of it. And since I haven't been able to shake off my old foe, procrastination, I wait till the last hour - till the words are forced out and seem contrived.
This year, with no writing or talking, it feels like I've built up a mountain of unacknowledged and unresolved feelings and emotions. Pushing at my insides, and out from under my skin, spilling out in bursts of rage, countless hours of doom-scrolling or compulsive gaming (Read: The dark side of Pacman), low productivity, periods of gloom and despair and longing...
This is not to say that the year has not had its highs. Just that, the highs have been fleeting, and the lows somehow linger on. This possibly requires a lot more introspection, which I've been failing at spectacularly of late, so let's set this aside for now. Back to the writing.
So how do I start writing again? For myself. For others.
- Constantly remind self that writing is a glorious outlet. Like it is now.
- Write for the sake of writing.
- Write to remember how to write.
- Write to hone the skill. 10,000 hours of practice is what it takes to do something brilliantly, they say. This translates to 3 hours a day, over 9 years! OMFG!
- Write without judgement, for myself.
- Revisit old notes and ideas. Build from there.
- Also, remind self that all writing does not need a conclusive end. Like now.