A rather contradictory post after the last one where I spoke
about inspiration; but I can’t help how I am feeling at the moment.
I like to say that I do most things for myself, that I am
the most important person in my life and how it is important to put myself
before all others, it is not at all like that. I find myself seeking approval
from people – parents, family, friends, colleagues, people on the road who
I don’t know, even random strays. I want them to love me. I want them to need me. I want them to
find me useful.
It’s sad really; I feel like I have lost my way once again. Things
haven’t been spectacular in a long, long time – and I want it to get there. I
miss being a star at everything I did. I miss the exhilaration of my life. I
miss the adoration. I have become a lazy, mostly uninspired person and with it, I've stopped inspiring people.
I want to be inspired and inspire once again.
